Quarantine
by Kleinchen
Summary: Trek/Carriers AU for reel startrek. In a world devastated by disease, four friends struggle to survive as they travel to the coast of Georgia, where they hope to wait out the infection and somehow get out alive. McHura, hints of Spirk and Chulu. Complete
1. Part One: The Hospital

**A/N:** Hi there! Kleinchen here, with my second Trek fic. :]

This was written for the reel_startrek community on LiveJournal.

This story is told in four parts. I'm not sure how soon updates will be but they will probably be a week apart max.

**Warnings: This story contains swearing, some violence, and major character death.**

Comments and critiques are greatly appreciated! Please enjoy.

* * *

Part One: The Hospital

The sun has just barely reached the highest part of the sky and it's gotten a little warm, but the beer is still a little less than lukewarm against Jim's lips, which is good because the car's air conditioning is busted and if it was warm he thinks he might just toss the whole crate of beers out the window in frustration. But it's not warm, so it's good and he looks out the window placidly, even though the landscape never really changes and it's not exactly the most interesting thing to look at. He's bored and wants to start humming or singing or something, but he doesn't because Bones will definitely snap at him to shut up if he does, that he can't drive over all the noise which is stupid because the freeway is like one straight line and it's not like it takes a lot of effort to drive in a straight damn line. But he hates it when Bones is irritated at him so he keeps quiet and instead busies himself by looking at the old paper map their route is scrawled on in red ink, Bones' chicken scratch writing invading most of Oregon and California and the Pacific Ocean, and a line drawn from San Francisco, where they started, to Riverside, Iowa, where they left not long ago to see if Jim's brother was still alive (they couldn't find him so probably not), then to the coast of Georgia, where they're headed.

"Where are we?" he asks, looking around, even though he knows most freeway signs have been torn down or have fallen apart by now.

"Middle of nowhere," Bones replied, his eyes never leaving the road, "Almost out of Iowa, getting close to Illinois, I think."

Jim looks back at the map, studies the spiderweb of lines – roads and freeways – spreading across the country and finds where they are in Iowa as Spock adds from the backseat,

"We passed the city of Mount Pleasant forty-seven minutes and fifteen seconds ago."

"Real pleasant," Bones snorted.

"I do not understand your statement, Leonard. It is impossible to judge whether or not it is truly a 'pleasant' place, as it claims, as we did not actually enter the city."

"Yeah, I'll show you pleasant."

"Leo," Nyota soothes from next to Spock, "Be nice." She reaches over and pats his shoulder and he darts his gaze away from the road for a brief moment to glance at her and smile slightly, crookedly, and replied,

"I'm being perfectly nice." Nyota laughs but does not reply, and he turns his attention back to the freeway.

"Hey," Jim says, pointing at the map, "If we get on the 74 then the 55 we'll get through Illinois faster."

"And that'll take us straight through St. Louis, Kentucky," Bones snaps, "No. You know the rules, Jim."

"Leo," Nyota says again, warningly, from the backseat and Bones shuts his mouth. Jim doesn't reply.

Yeah, he knows the rules. As if he couldn't know them after Bones repeated them ten thousand zillion times, their first day on the road, the day of their escape. He can still remember the blue sweater Bones wore that day, and how his face was clean-shaven and his hair only slightly tousled, in contrast to now, with stubble on every man's jaws because shaves were few and far between, and unkempt hair because they didn't have water to spare to wash it, all the water went to keep the car running and for drinking, nothing else.

"_Stay away from the infected at all costs. That means stay out of populated places,_" he remembers Bones saying that first day, "_Disinfect anything that could have been touched by an infected person. And the infected are dead, they can't be helped. You can't help them. You can't help them._" He remembers Bones repeated that one the most – _you can't help them_ – because he's a doctor and the thought of not helping someone is so foreign and so distasteful to him. Or, was, at least. Not so much anymore. It doesn't bother anyone anymore. Jim takes another sip of his beer, wondering how many are left.

"Leonard, it would be perfectly safe to travel through a city so long as the car is locked and we do not exit the automobile," Spock says, and Bones frowns.

"For the love of god," he growls, "Jim, get your boyfriend to shut up. Even if you have to make out with him to do it. Seriously." Jim flushes and he's sure Spock is starting to take on a green tinge of embarrassment too and he replies darkly,

"He's not my boyfriend, asshole. Shut up."

"Coulda fooled me."

"Shut up, Bones!"

"I can assure you that Jim and I are not in a romantic relationship."

"Thought Vulcans don't lie."

"I am not lying, Leonard."

"You sure about that, Spock?"

"I am one hundred percent certain."

"Only one hundred? Not two hundred? Not even one hundred and ten?"

"Your question is illogical, as there cannot mathematically be any percentage higher than one hundred percent."

"Oh my god," Nyota groans, tugging at her ponytail of long dark hair, "Leo, if I didn't know any better, I'd say _you_ were the one who was dating Spock." There is a moment of stunned silence, then Spock says in a monotone,

"Nyota, I am disappointed. That is the most illogical statement I have ever heard you say." And then Nyota and Jim erupt into laughter and even Bones chuckles half-heartedly, and even though Spock's expression doesn't change Jim can tell he's pleased with himself and he smiles at the Vulcan and Spock raises an eyebrow back. Okay, maybe Bones _did_ have a reason to suspect – but still.

They are silent for a while after their chuckles die down. Nyota starts humming which makes Jim scowl because Bones never gets irritated when _she_ sings, and he doesn't know if it's because he thinks she sings better than him (which is probably true) or the fact that they've been dating for what seems like forever and if he told her not to sing he wouldn't be getting any form of action for weeks (which is definitely true).

Then all of a sudden the car starts slowing and Jim looks questioningly at Bones, who is scowling at the road as he mutters,

"What the hell is that?"

Jim looks and he can tell right away what Bones is talking about. A blockage in the road has come into sight, too far away from them to be able to make out what it is, but hesitantly Bones speeds up again and after a moment they can tell it's another car, a green SUV that looks like one of those old Ford Expeditions. It's parked in the middle of the two-lane freeway so that nothing can pass on either side without off-roading, which is going to be a problem for them because while the (stolen) Mercedes is nice enough, they all know that it can't handle off-roading without some serious problems, especially in a terrain this bumpy. The roads are thrashed enough as it is.

They slow to a stop about twenty feet from the SUV and McCoy shifts in his seat, as if it'll somehow give him a better view of what is plainly in their faces. He moves as if he's about to get out of the car to investigate when a figure emerges from behind the car and starts to walk towards them.

"Masks on," he growls, "Jim, lock the doors." Jim fumbles to lock the car while pulling his ventilator mask over his mouth and nose with one hand, the slight pressure falling familiarly into place. His mask is decorated with a mouth full of pointed teeth, with the words "homoerotic love machine" scrawled above the set of fangs. Bones had added the "homo" part after Jim had decorated the doctor's once-plain mask with a frowning face complete with wrinkles, and Jim found it amusing rather than irritating the way Bones had hoped and he had added on the "-erotic love machine" part himself good-naturedly. He suspected Spock had played a part in the addition as well, because he had decorated Spock's mask the same day he had Bones' – Spock's was, of course, a straight line of a mouth with a speech bubble beneath it proclaiming "LOGIC!" Spock had been plenty irritated (in spite of his lack of expression – Jim just _knew _things sometimes) but, since they had no extra masks, he had to wear it anyway. Nyota was the only one with a mask that had not been sabotaged by the others – hers was decorated with a set of full kissy lips, colored in with red actual lipstick that they had found one day when they had raided an empty drugstore in hopes of food and had found that the cosmetics section was almost entirely untouched, unlike the rest of the store. She had laughed hysterically and scooped up handfuls of the stuff – Jim didn't see the point, nor did any of the other men, but she maintained that looking nice was always nice, even if there was no one but the three others to see her, and even though their clothes were all ragged and tattered and stained.

The figure stands now next to the driver's side door – he is an Asian male who looks around the same age as the four of them with messy hair and an oily face without a mask, and he peers at them with a look of desperation. Bones lowers his window as little as possible, only enough to allow sound to travel, and he says gruffly,

"What do you want?"

"Do you have any water you can spare?" the man asks without preamble, leaning down to look through the tiny crack in the window – Bones backs away slightly, "Any at all? We're just trying to get to Burlington, it's just a bit more down the freeway, but we ran out of water for the car and we don't know where to get anymore, it's the middle of nowhere out here."

"Who's 'we'?" Bones asks suspiciously.

"My friend and I," the man replies, "Please, we barely have enough water to drink as it is, all we need is enough to make it to Burlington."

The other three are preoccupied with the stranger, but Spock looks out the windshield to peer at the SUV in their way. He can make out the profile of another person – male, a slightly younger teen from the looks of it – with a mask on his face and a mop of curly hair falling in his eyes. The window is tinted dark but Spock can see fairly clearly that the other person is looking down at apparently nothing, then turns his face to look at the man speaking to them, and Spock can see his entire face clearly.

The mottled skin on the side of his face previously hidden sends warning bells howling in Spock's mind and he says quickly, loudly,

"There is an infected individual in their car."

"Shit!" McCoy hisses and he immediately starts backing up, tires squealing, and the man shouts after them, "Wait! Please, wait!" But they ignore his heartbroken pleas because everyone has learned to never doubt Spock's word or his superior eyesight.

Bones starts barreling forward again, swerving in a wide radius off the freeway and around the SUV. The little Mercedes rattles and groans in protest as they struggle over the rocky ground and Jim bumps his head repeatedly against the window, much to his irritation, but they manage to get back onto the freeway once they're past the SUV and they're screeching down the freeway again. Jim watches the Asian man in the rearview mirror running desperately after them for a few strides, an arm outstretched as if he can somehow will them back, then stumble to a stop and double over, hands on his knees and shoulders heaving in heavy breaths or gasps or maybe sobs, they're too far away for him to tell by now.

"Damn it all to hell," Bones is growling under his breath, "That asshole could have been infected too and there he was all up in the window – I'm disinfecting that damn thing the second we stop tonight. How much Clorox we got?"

"Seven gallons," Nyota replies, counting the jugs resting below her feet, "Plus maybe like a quart or so in this smaller bottle."

About a mile down the road the car starts groaning and leaning to one side and Bones swears,

"Are you shitting me?" The car slows to a stop and he gets out, slamming the door behind him, takes one look and howls in rage.

"The tire popped," he shouts, face reddening in fury, "That damn guy – now we've got a flat damn tire! I sure as hell hope that asshole's happy!" He punches the car in his anger but only succeeds in bruising his knuckles, and he stalks back into his seat, slamming the door again. He puts his face in his hands and groans.

"What are we gonna do now?" Jim asks unhappily, and he is answered with silence.

Finally Nyota says,

"We can go back to that guy, use their car."

"Of an infected? You got a death wish or something?" Bones growls, whirling around to glare at her.

"It may be our only option," she retorts defensively, scowling back at him, "Look, that car will be big enough for all of us. If we can negotiate with them I'm sure they'll let us use it. We can keep them in the back, in the trunk or whatever. It's an SUV, they'll fit. And we've got that plastic tarp or whatever, and duct tape. We could do it."

"I agree that this may be our only option," Spock says, and McCoy turns grumpily away from them.

In the end no one can think of any other plan and so they exit the car, carrying with them a gallon of water and three gallons of Clorox and the duct tape and tarp with plastic gloves on their hands, and they start walking down the way they came. It's only a mile or so and after about fifteen minutes of walking the green SUV comes into sight again.

"Masks on," Bones growls, and they pull their masks on before the Asian man spots them from where he's leaning against the car, his head lifted up to the gray sky as if searching for some deity, some being to show mercy to them. When he catches sight of them, he hesitates for a moment then starts walking slowly towards them. They reach him first.

"Look," Bones says angrily – he always seems to establish himself as their spokesperson, which everyone thinks is stupid because he's the least agreeable of the bunch but he does it anyway, "Our tire broke thanks to your damn roadblock here and we'll give you water for the car under one condition. We get to drive it. We'll drop you off in Burlington or wherever the hell you're wanting to go, and then it's ours. And you and your infected buddy in there have to stay in the back – the _back _back and no funny business." The stranger looks apprehensive and almost upset for all of five seconds, then a look of weary resignation dominates his features and he sighs,

"Okay."

"Get him out of the car," Bones replies, wasting no time, "Both of you go stand over there – _way_ over there, mind you." The stranger goes and retrieves the other man from the car, helping him onto the ground. He's barely older than a boy with wide youthful blue eyes that stare at the group of four in a mixture of both hope and distrust and he pushes his curls out of his face as he and the Asian man stumble to the side of the road.

Bones starts pouring the water into the tank as the other three set to work on disinfecting the car. They dump Clorox over every seat, over the dashboard and the wheel and the glovebox while clearing out all the trash in the car, wiping down the windows and door handles on the inside and outside and even pour Clorox into the plush floor because nothing is safe if it's been touched by one of _them_.

Nyota leans over the back seat and sets up the tarp, creating a wall between them and the trunk with the plastic and the duct tape. The tarp is transparent so they can see clearly into the separate "room" of the car.

"What're your names?" Jim asks as he's disinfecting the back of the car.

"I'm Hikaru Sulu," the Asian man replies, "This is Pavel Chekov." The teenage boy looks at Jim with eyes almost as bright blue as his own and Jim cannot bring himself to return the gaze, because he knows he's looking into a dead person's eyes. _The infected are already dead. You can't help them._

"I'm Jim Kirk," he replies, "The grumpy one's Leo McCoy. Spock is the Vulcan and Nyota Uhura is our lone source of estrogen. What're you going to Burlington for?"

"There was a radio broadcast," Hikaru says, "They're giving out vaccinations at the Burlington hospital. Some new drug that everyone has high hopes for."

There have been high hopes for _every_ vaccination, Jim wants to say but doesn't, high hopes for every single one, and some of them have even made things worse and certainly none of them have made things better. But he keeps his mouth shut behind his fanged homoerotic love machine mask. Hikaru seems to notice the words adorning it but doesn't say anything even though Jim can tell he really wants to ask, and instead he peers at Pavel and Jim wonders if maybe _they're_ gay and that's why they're traveling together but he doesn't ask because this Pavel kid doesn't look eighteen and Hikaru looks about his age which is twenty-four, so he doesn't want to know.

There's a gallon and a half left of the three gallons of Clorox they brought when they finish disinfecting and Hikaru and Pavel climb into the back. There's barely enough room for the both of them but they manage, Hikaru squeezing to give Pavel as much room as possible, not out of fear of infection but out of what looks like compassion and sadness, which no one comments on. They pile into the car in the same arrangement, Bones driving, Jim next to him, Spock behind Jim and Nyota behind Bones, and they drive the mile down to their busted car where it appears that, thankfully, no one has passed by and stolen everything, so they take all the water and Clorox and food and everything out of the Mercedes and pack it into the SUV, which really is an old Ford Expedition that's been fitted with a water turbine engine. There's a bit more room for everything now and Jim is glad because it was _really_ cramped in the stolen Mercedes, not that he would have ever complained but he's thankful to have more room now. Spock huddles in a blanket because it's started getting cooler and it's cold for him even at noon when it's warmest. Jim feels bad for him because he gets _so_ uncomfortably cold in the cool Earth climate from the smog and pollution that filters out the sun, but then he can't feel too bad for him because he's Vulcan and so he's practically immune to the horror that threatens the rest of them, which in turn makes him feel bad because Spock shouldn't be here, wouldn't be here if it weren't for the fact that Earth is entirely and completely quarantined by the Federation, no exceptions, not even for Vulcans. Or half-Vulcans. Or any other race for that matter. Jim starts feeling down with all these negative thoughts so his mind travels clear of Spock.

He can still remember clearly the day the Federation made a public announcement about the pandemic and the quarantine. It's been months since he's even seen a copy of the declaration – it's been over a year since the quarantine was put in place – but he can still recite it from memory.

_The virus seizing the planet Earth is too great of a threat to be treated. In light of this, Earth is hereby quarantined until the threat is eradicated. Starfleet and United Federation of Planets headquarters are to be relocated to the Vulcan branches respectively, as Vulcan is the second-highest contributor and maintainer of both organizations. All shuttles leaving Earth are to immediately turn back and be disabled upon landing. All shuttles approaching Earth are to be grounded or turned back. Under no circumstances is any life form to breach Earth's atmosphere, whether leaving or entering, and there are no exceptions. The planet will be under careful, unmanned surveillance until the Federation deems the planet safe to return to. The Federation mourns this loss but hopes that the natives of Earth will understand the necessity of this action._

All hell had broken loose after that. The Federation president had committed suicide the next day, along with countless other government and Starfleet officials, and then everything had dissolved into anarchy. It was a marvel they had been able to stay alive this long. One year – one year since the breakout and already it was estimated that eighty-nine percent of Earth's population had perished, fallen to the disease that no one had a name for, that no one had to name because everyone knew exactly what _it_ was. He remembers everything too clearly and wishes he didn't.

They pull over at about ten o'clock that night along the side of the freeway. Bones gets out of the car and he and Nyota kiss and stride off into the brush with a blanket and no one has to ask where they're going.

Jim eats half a can of cold condensed chicken noodle soup because getting a fire going is too much of a hassle and Bones would yell at him if he did, even though Spock is shivering in the backseat with two blankets wrapped around him. Jim hands him the remaining soup but he declines, saying he ate yesterday and does not require sustenance and even though Jim thinks that's bullshit he learned to stop arguing with the Vulcan long ago. So he finishes off the rest even though he's not that hungry, because there's no way to save food reliably and it's too precious to waste. He cracks open another beer, then climbs into the backseat with Spock because he can't bear how much he's shivering.

"Cold, huh?" he asks, settling himself next to the Vulcan. Spock nods once, quickly, his gaze flitting back and forth between Jim and the window. "Give me your hand. Let me warm you up a bit." Spock flushes – he always gets flustered when Jim asks, which is nothing compared to how mortified he had been the first time Jim had asked – but slowly pulls his hand out from the blankets and lets it rest palm up on the leather in the space between his body and Jim's.

It's a lucky thing Jim paid attention in xenobiology at Starfleet, he thinks, otherwise Spock would have been twice as cold twice as often because he knows the stoic Vulcan would never had brought it up. He trails his fingertips along Spock's hands, tracing patterns into the warm sensitive skin, letting his nails skitter feather-lightly down to his wrist, then scrape a little harder back up to his fingers. It's a good thing that, one, this is inconspicuous, and two, that Hikaru and Pavel are facing away from them as they eat uncooked instant noodles, because if anyone found out, Bones would be teasing him ten thousand times worse. And they weren't dating, they really weren't – they were just – best friends. And if that meant being bromantic during the day and making out with their hands to keep warm in the cold nights, well, they were okay with that and if Bones wasn't he'd just have to deal with it.

Spock projects faint amusement at Jim's thoughts through the link between their hands, but it's faint, which Jim knows is because his mind is a little, ah, preoccupied with other sensations at the moment. After another few moments of stroking and tracing patterns, Jim laces Spock's fingers with his own and gives a hearty squeeze which elicits a faintly-stifled moan from the Vulcan, who then says faintly,

"That is – sufficient."

"You're warm enough?"

"Yes," he replies, and he pulls his hand away, and Jim can see his face is flushed green and he's even sweating a little, which means a job well done. Spock takes a deep breath, steadying himself, and leans back into his seat and Jim takes another swig of his beer. He knows that even touching hands, much less abusing their... _particular_ qualities just to keep warm, is a taboo that Spock normally would not have violated and even now feels a little uncomfortable about, but only a little and not enough to stop him, because they're stuck here on Earth probably until they die and so scandal and propriety and cultural norms mean nothing to either of them now.

Jim wasn't cold to begin with but he's feeling pleasantly warm now, which he assures himself is just a side-effect, a spillover, from their brief link through their hands and certainly not because seeing Spock turned on – by him – turned him on too. Definitely not.

He finishes his beer as Spock closes his eyes, probably to meditate, and Jim knows he wouldn't want to be bothered but he huddles closer to the Vulcan anyway and he doesn't push him away, so Jim snuggles right up next to the warm, blanket-enveloped body and he's so warm and comfortable next to him that he's asleep when Nyota and Leo come back to the car with their hair mussed and their faces covered in a faint sheen of sweat. They laugh at the sight and Leo retorts that they really _are_ together, that they _have_ to be and that Jim is just being stupid and stubborn as per usual. Jim is asleep and Spock is deep in meditation and so Nyota climbs into the front seat next to Leo and soon the car falls silent save for the sound of slumber-deep breathing.

* * *

The next day they reach the city of Burlington in the early afternoon, maybe as early as 11:30 but it's cloudier than usual today so Jim can't really tell. Leo drives quickly through the streets as if anxious they will be attacked or something, but the entire city is completely still and completely silent except for the noise of crows that gather in multitudes around abandoned dump trucks that read in bright yellow letters "DANGER: BIOHAZARDOUS MATERIAL" and as they pass one Jim can see the crows are tearing at thick black bags – body bags, and he looks away in revulsion. It must be some kind of sick ironic twist of fate that only humans are affected by the disease, because before it hit there were animal activists everywhere you looked and now all the people were dead and the animals are taking over. Too bad there weren't human activists, because maybe then someone would try and do something to save the few who were left.

After a few wrong turns and dead-end streets they make it to the hospital. It is just as quiet as the rest of the city, no cars in the parking lot and no people to be seen. "VACCINES GIVEN HERE" is spray painted on the concrete in front of the entrance. Bones parks the car and, studying the building suspiciously, he mutters,

"Something tells me this vaccine didn't quite work out."

From the back Hikaru taps against the plastic separating them and calls out, "Let us out." With a sigh Bones gets out of the car, as does Jim, with their masks and gloves on and they open the tailgate slightly then back away so Hikaru can get out.

"It looks like there's no one here," Bones says, and Hikaru frowns and replies,

"There has to be. I'm going inside." Jim glances at Bones, who looks back at him irritably, then sighs and says,

"We'll go with you. Let me grab my phaser." Bones walks back to the car and pulls his phaser from the glovebox and Jim follows him. Spock gets out of the car and says,

"I will go with you."

"We can't leave Pavel by himself," Hikaru said, looking back at the lone figure in the back of the car in worry.

"I'll stay with him," Nyota says before anyone else has a chance to reply. Bones scowls.

"Nyota," he says, but she cuts him off.

"It'll be fine, Leo," she assures him with a smile, and he looks at her hesitantly then finally acquiesces, and the four men head into the hospital with their masks and gloves and their single phaser.

The doors are unlocked but when they walk in the hallways are dark, which isn't entirely unexpected because electricity has been dodgy at best for a while. Hikaru looks about wildly, then says,

"I'm going to go look around. There has to be someone here."

"I'll go with you," Bones says, looking around suspiciously.

Jim begins to follow Bones but hesitates when he looks back and sees Spock has stopped in the doorway and is looking down another hallway. Spock only glances at him then starts to walk in the other direction and after a brief moment Jim calls,

"We're gonna go look over here, Bones."

"Be careful," comes the reply, and Jim hurries over to Spock. The Vulcan has found a row of commlinks and is fumbling with the first one, smashing frantically against the on button while holding the earpiece a little bit away from his pointed ear, because he doesn't have any disinfectant and he still worries that the Human part of him makes him more susceptible to the disease than others believe him to be and he's not taking any chances because that would be illogical.

The commlink doesn't work and he drops the earpiece and moves on to the next one, going through the same motions with the same results. There are ten in the row and by the time he has gotten to the fourth one Jim says,

"Spock, you know they're all broken."

"To make such an assumption is illogical," he replies distractedly and Jim steps closer to him.

"Who could you call even if they did work? Who could you call that would answer?"

"If there is any possible chance I could contact my mother I will take it without hesitation – "

"Spock."

" – because there is no concrete evidence that she is dead."

"Spock."

"She is not dead, Jim."

Jim doesn't say anything in reply, knowing he can't change the other man's mind because Spock's mother is the only family Spock has left and in spite of his professed lack of emotions Jim knows that Spock loves his mother more than anyone else in the universe – and he also knows he and his father are not on speaking terms and he wonders if his father regrets that now that he will never see his son or his wife again. It would be smarter of Spock to try and contact his father but he knows that the half-Vulcan is too illogically prideful to talk to him unless he contacts his son first which is impossible, so he doesn't say anything about that either. Instead Jim waits silently as Spock tries every single commlink and when he lets the final earpiece drop from his hand he stands in the corner of the hallway forlornly, looking somberly at the commlink he has just tried. Jim walks over to him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

"We're gonna get through this," he says vehemently, even though he doesn't quite believe it himself, "Everything's going to be alright in the end." Spock nods slightly once, not meeting his gaze, and Jim sighs. He reaches down and gives Spock's hand a gentle squeeze which causes the Vulcan to look sharply, questioningly at him because he has never done this before without a specific purpose, but he does not push him away so they hold hands for a moment before Jim continues, "Come on. We should go catch up with Bones."

* * *

Meanwhile Hikaru and Leo have scoured the first floor, checking every room which have all turned out to be empty and littered with trash. They make their way to the second floor in spite of Leo's trepidations and as they are walking up the stairway there is a flash of movement far down the hallway and Hikaru starts sprinting, leaving Leo shouting after him,

"Wait!"

They never quite catch up with whatever it was but it leads them to what appears to have been the cafeteria, but all the benches have been pushed aside to leave the middle of the room empty. There are lights set up around a large tent made of what appears to be shower curtains and bedsheets and even though the lights flicker continuously it's the most light they've seen in the building and even from a distance Hikaru can make out shapes moving from within the tent and so he races over to it, followed closely by Leo.

They realize what they have been chasing after is a child who clambers into the tent-like structure and Hikaru stumbles to a stop at the folds of plastic and sheets. They can hear murmurs from within and Leo leans over, breathing heavily and cursing.

"Hello?" Hikaru calls, tapping at the makeshift walls, "Hello?" After a moment there is a rustle and the curtain is pushed aside to reveal a man older than the two of them staring at them with weary eyes. His short brown hair is messy and his brown eyes are bloodshot and dull, but the mottled skin on his face is all they notice and they take a frantic step back. He simply stares at them questioningly and finally Hikaru manages,

"We're – we're here for the vaccines." The man lets out a breath that might have been a chuckle or a sigh and he replies,

"So were they." He gestures behind him where a group of children are sitting together in hospital gowns, a few of them with visibly mottled skin and a few without but all are eerily silent as if they know their fate. His accent is thick, some kind of European that neither Hikaru nor Leo can really place but Hikaru doesn't give it a second thought.

"Are you – are you a doctor?" Hikaru asks, and the man shakes his head.

"Me? No, I'm just Scotty, nothin' special. Just a lab technician. I only worked with the machines." He pauses and glances back at the children. "And I'm the only one left." Hikaru's face falls and he protests wildly,

"But – Scotty, right? But what about the vaccines – they said – they said..."

"They say a lot of things," the man, Scotty, sighs, "They don't mean anything."

"So they... the vaccines don't work?"

"Just prolong the death," Scotty murmurs, and he takes a step back into their makeshift home and reaches for a jug of what appears to be Kool-Aid if the opened drink mix packet next to it is any indication, and next to the drink mix packet is a white bag of some medical looking stuff. "Just make the suffering last longer."

"What's that?" Leo says, the first word he has said to the man, frowning at the white bag in consternation as Scotty begins to pour the liquid into small paper Dixie cups.

"Just a wee somethin' to help us sleep," Scotty murmurs, but his voice is thick not with his accent but with sorrow and terror and Leo knows the stuff is poisoned, "I'm sorry. Ye caught us right at snack time. Ye cannae stay here so I'll have to ask ye to leave."

"You can't do this," Leo says, "You can't kill them."

"I'm doin' them a favor," Scotty replies, his face twisting in desperation, "Ye cannae know how much worse that damned vaccine made it. At least they'll go out sleepin' peacefully instead of screamin' like their fam'lies." He visibly composes himself, sighing, and the children stare at him in silent, guarded curiosity. Hikaru looks away, a look of utter heartbreak falling over his features. "I'm sorry I cannae help ye." And with that he pulls the curtain in place and they are shrouded once again, reduced to dim shadows against the white fabric.

Hikaru and Leo stand there for a long moment, then Leo turns and says softly,

"Let's get out of here." He starts to walk away and after a while Hikaru follows him silently, eyes wide, expression stricken.

They run into Jim and Spock on the stairs.

"Well?" Jim asks.

"No one was here," Bones says quickly before Hikaru can say anything, and they believe him because Hikaru's expression is enough to make them believe it.

* * *

Nyota is sitting quietly in the backseat when the boy, Pavel, taps at the plastic separating them and says faintly,

"You are Nyota, da?" Nyota turns around and smiles hesitantly at him – she resists the urge to pull on her mask even though the plastic separates them and Pavel is wearing a mask, as well.

"That's me," she said, "And you're Pavel." The boy's eyes crinkle in what is probably a smile and he replies,

"I am sorry for the inconvenience ve haf been."

"Oh, no. It's alright. I think Leo is the only one who's bothered," she replies with a halfhearted smile.

"I am wery sorry," Pavel repeats, and Nyota waves it away.

"Don't be," she says, and, peering into his baby blue eyes, she asks, "How old are you?"

"Sewenteen," he replies.

"Seventeen," she breaths, her heart breaking, "I'm so sorry." He shrugs it off.

"Is nothing to be sorry over," he says, "I am lucky, in a vay. I outliwed the rest of my family." But his eyes look away and she knows that it is not a lucky thing he has outlived them. "And I hawe Hikaru to look out for me in meantime. Is not so bad a thing, to die with friends, da?"

Nyota is about to reply sadly when Pavel starts coughing, choking over his words, and in a panic he reaches for the respirator on the wall and he can't get it off, his hands fumbling, and his coughing intensifies and he can't even use his hands, his body is being wracked so violently. Nyota panics, and she wants to help but is terrified but she pulls her mask quickly over her face, unable to fumble with the strings and so she simply holds it in place with one hand, thankful the gloves are still on her hands, and she pulls the plastic down, tugging at the duct tape until it relents. She reaches over his shuddering, coughing frame and loosens the respirator – and, after a moment of hesitation, she pulls down his mask, dropping her own in the process, which she knows isn't smart but he sounds like he's dying and she can't stand it.

Before she can get the respirator to his mouth he's coughing up blood and splatters of it mar her face and when the respirator is finally on his mouth, his nose, and he's breath heavily, she shakily wipes it away, because now that the adrenalin of the panic she was in has faded she knows she has made a horrible mistake and it's going to cost her her life. She's breathed in his air without a mask and his blood was on her and he's staring at her now, wide-eyed as if he knows exactly that he has sentenced her to death and he chokes out from beneath the respirator,

"I'm sorry." She shakes her head, struggling to regain her thoughts, when she hears the hospital doors opening in the distance and in a panic she puts the plastic back in place, and Pavel turns away from her and puts the respirator away – they seem to have some unspoken understanding that this won't be mentioned – and she's sitting quietly in her seat, just the way she had been before, when the four men return to the car.

"Well?" she asks hesitantly, hopefully, until she sees Hikaru's face as he walks past her, straight to Pavel.

"No one was there," Leo says quietly, watching Hikaru guardedly, "The vaccine must not have worked."

"Oh no," she breaths, and Leo walks away from her to join Hikaru who is in front of Pavel, with Jim and Spock observing them from a few steps away.

"Are there vaccines?" Pavel asks, his eyes pleading with Hikaru who looks away in guilt and despair and says slowly,

"No." Pavel lowers his gaze and replies faintly,

"Oh."

"I'm sorry," Jim says gently, brows furrowed, and Hikaru shakes his head. Suddenly Pavel looks up.

"Hikaru," he says, "I haf to use restroom."

"One or two?"

"One," Pavel replies, shifting uncomfortably. Hikaru looks at Leo nervously because he knows, he _knows_ that if the opportunity arises they will leave without them, without a second thought, so he asks,

"There are some bushes over there. Can you walk by yourself?" Pavel looks at him uncomprehendingly in confusion and replies,

"I... I vill try." Hikaru helps him get down, out of the car, and the other three men back away considerably. Pavel takes a few unsteady steps before he stumbles and falls to his knees and Hikaru rushes to his side.

"Okay," he says, helping him up, "Okay. I'll help you. It's okay. I'll help. You did good, I'm proud of you." He looks back at Leo one last time, his expression pleading silently with him, before he starts walking further down the parking lot, holding Pavel up.

"Get in the car," Leo says tonelessly, turning away from the pair.

"Bones," Jim begins to protests, and Bones cuts him off,

"Get in the damn car, Jim. We're leaving."

Pavel and Hikaru can both hear the car starting, and Hikaru's features twist in anguish as Pavel looks behind them wildly, panic skittering over his face, and he struggles to turn around even as Hikaru continues walking forward.

"Hikaru," he says desperately, "Hikaru, they're leaving!"

"I know," Hikaru chokes out, fighting against tears, "Come on. Let's find someplace nice to sit."

"I'm sorry," Pavel says, tears spilling over his mottled cheeks, "I'm so sorry, Hikaru. You should be with them. It's my fault, I'm sorry."

"Hey," Hikaru replies, his tone stern in spite of his own tears, "None of that. I would never leave you behind, Pasha. If I have to die... I'd rather die with you."

"I'm sorry," Pavel sobs, shaking his head, "I'm sorry."

* * *

When the men pile into the car and the engine starts, Nyota looks about wildly and says,

"What's going on?"

"We're leaving," Bones replies tonelessly.

"What? Leo, we can't leave them!"

"Maybe you guys forgot the goddamn rules!" Bones shouts, slamming a hand on the steering wheel as they pull out of the parking lot, "I didn't even want to help them in the first place. They're infected and they're going to die. We can't help them. We can't help them, god dammit! The only thing you can do with infected people is leave them to die."

Nyota turns away and sobs and everyone assumes it's because she's too soft to deal with this because it's not easy for any of them. No one imagines her tears could possibly be because she knows that, soon, she will be left behind too, and her tears are not those of sorrow but of terror.


	2. Part Two: The Hotel

**A/N:** Thanks to those who reviewed! Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up.

* * *

Part Two: The Hotel

Sometimes Jim wonders how it ended up being the four of them traveling together. Him and Bones make perfect sense because they've been together since Jim was six and Bones, who was still Leo then, was eleven and Jim's mom had taken him and his brother to visit the McCoy family in Georgia who she was friends with and even though it would have made more sense for Leo and Sam to have become best friends, ever since that summer they had always been one unit in those family gatherings, together every waking moment until they were Leo-and-Jimmy who were more brothers than Jimmy and Sam. Him and Bones and Nyota made some sense too because Bones and Nyota have been together for a long time and before the disease Bones had mentioned to Jim once or twice thinking of maybe, maybe asking her to marry him, always hesitantly and questioningly but the thought was in his head nonetheless. Nyota would follow Bones, and Jim would always be at Bones' side, so the three of them made sense.

But it was the four of them, Jim, Bones, Nyota, and Spock that made him wonder. He knows that Bones isn't really too fond of Spock and even though his harassment is generally good-natured and not that different from the same snippy attitude he gives the rest of the world, Bones and Spock don't get along the way Bones does with the people he teases out of affection. And even more than that Jim and Bones knew that Spock and Nyota had dated once, a long time ago but from the sounds of it, it had gotten semi-serious before they ended things, which maybe also explained why Bones didn't like Spock so much. Nyota still gets along great with Spock which may only bother Bones further, Jim thinks. Really the only reason Spock is here is because of Jim, who shouldn't even like Spock that much anyway because Spock was the one who turned him in for "cheating" on the Kobayashi Maru but Jim had respected Spock even then and after the whole debacle had been sorted out, Jim had ended up having Spock as a professor the next semester and found himself warming up to the Vulcan. But never in his wildest dreams had Jim thought that someday Spock would be one of the three people he was the closest to in the world, one of the three people who he now lived with in a single car, hoping against all hope that he would live to see another day with.

Jim can still remember so clearly the day they left. It was maybe three months ago now, maybe four, it becomes hard to tell after so many days bleeding together, when he and Bones decided to head out for good, to head to the little beach of their childhood on the coast of Georgia to wait out the epidemic. They had been speculating on the idea for weeks but when Jim's mom gets sick they decide they have to leave. Jim couldn't bear to leave her by herself but before long Bones comes down one morning holding the phaser that Jim's mom keeps in her bedside drawer and says,

"She's dead, Jim."

And it never really has a chance to sink in because they leave that day, pack up all their important things in Bones' hovercar then drive to Nyota's to pick her up because there's no way Bones is leaving her behind to die, and Nyota's apartment is right near the Academy and before they head out for good Jim stops and says,

"Wait. Let's stop by the Academy really quick?"

"Why?" Bones says incredulously.

"I don't know," Jim confesses, "I just think we should check there really quick. See if we can't scavenge something useful."

And that something useful ends up being Spock who is standing at the Academy gates staring silently, forlornly at the buildings when they pull up in the hovercar and Jim walks up to him and says,

"Professor."

"Cadet Kirk," Spock replies evenly, not meeting his gaze.

"What are you doing?"

"In all honesty, I do not know. The last of the faculty living in the Academy has died and I am at a loss."

"You don't have anywhere to go?" Jim asks, and Spock looks away so that he does not see the anguish twisting his features.

"No," Spock replies softly, "I have been unable to contact or locate my mother, and she is the only one I could go to. I have nowhere else to go, but I do not wish to stay here."

"Come with us," Jim is blurting before he realizes it, "Me and Bones – er, Leo, Leo McCoy – us and Nyota Uhura are all going to Georgia."

"Georgia?"

"Yeah – me and Bones used to visit this little deserted beach there all the time when we were younger and we're gonna head there so we can hopefully just, you know, wait out the storm." Spock stares at him speculatively for a moment, then replies,

"Since this seems to be my only pleasant choice, I will go with you."

And that was how they had ended up with Spock in the backseat of their hovercar next to Nyota. There was barely enough room for all of them, their important belongings, and the supplies necessary for their survival, but they managed. That first day Bones had repeated their three rules over and over again as if it were the only thing that could keep them alive because, in a way, they _were_ the only things keeping them alive.

The hovercar lasted until they had just passed the border of Nevada when the last of their gas ran out. They were at a loss as to how to proceed and so sat on sat on the side of the freeway for one day and then decided they would have to travel on foot until some better alternative arrived. So they packed up as much as they could carry, though many things were still left behind, and set out on foot.

They continued down the freeway for three weeks when they found the Mercedes pulled over on the side of the road. Quickly they assented that a ground car would be easiest to use even though they were slower than hovercars, because they ran on water which was so much easier to come by than gas, and so Bones and Jim and Spock had approached the car cautiously, masks and gloves in place and Clorox in one hand, except for Bones who held the phaser he had taken from Jim's mother's room.

The car was not uninhabited. The man lying in the front seat was completely covered in the repulsive mottled skin of the infection, like some giant ugly bruise covering him from head to toe, and they were sure he was dead until Bones reached over to start dragging him out of the car and his eyes opened. His eyes had no whites – they were entirely red with disease and he reached out laboriously for Bones' hand and Jim had jumped away with a yelp and Bones, in his terror, fired the phaser and then the man really was dead, leaving the doctor swearing and shaking. It was a long moment before anyone could muster the courage to start pulling the dead man from the car, and it was a struggle for Jim not to vomit as they bathed the thing in three gallons of Clorox which was way the hell more than was necessary but no one could get the image of the living dead man out of their heads. Thankfully there was still water in the car and so they started back onto the road, this time thankfully no longer on their feet.

And it had been the four of them since then, now in the SUV that did not really belong to them but it belonged to them now.

It has been two days since they left the empty hospital and Jim is pretty sure Nyota is upset with Bones because she's barely said a word to him and not much more to anyone else since then and has been spending the days staring somberly out the window and spending the nights sleeping in the far back, away from everyone else.

It has been two days, and at about three o'clock in the afternoon Jim is staring out his window with a beer in one hand and he notices that there is a large building coming up on their side of the freeway and after a moment of peering at it he realizes it's a hotel and he says,

"Look, Bones."

"You know the rules," Bones starts to say grumpily, then Jim adds,

"It's a hotel. Hotels usually have swimming pools. There might be food too." Bones glances at him in annoyance for a moment, then Spock adds,

"We are running low on water for fuel. It would be wise to at least look." Bones sighs in defeat and he gets off the freeway at the next exit and before too long they are pulling up into the hotel. The weather-worn sign claims the hotel is a Mariott and Jim jumps out of the car when it pulls to a stop, surveying the abandoned building. It looks like it's in pretty decent shape which is a good sign and the four of them head into the building together, masks and gloves on just to be safe.

They find the kitchen without too much difficulty and dig through the meager supply, and in the end are rewarded with three cans of baked beans and a bag of ice from the freezer, which they throw into the SUV before heading to the back of the hotel.

Sure enough there is a swimming pool. It's only about halfway full and the water looks rancid, mostly because there is a dead body floating in it, which Nyota cannot bear to look at and she walks away out to what looks like a golf course. Bones sighs and holds up the empty gallon containers they've brought along with them.

"Fill 'em up," he says, eying the floating body, which is clothed head to toe in what looks like a plastic jumpsuit, "The car won't mind if the water's nasty. But be careful." So, hesitantly, they begin filling the jugs and when they are full they take them back to the SUV, load them in the back where the rest of their fuel-water is kept.

"I'm gonna go find Nyota," Bones says, swapping his wet gloves for clean ones and Jim and Spock do the same, and he sets off for the golf course.

Jim looks over at Spock and says,

"Wanna look around some more in the building?"

"I do not see the purpose of such an activity."

"It'll be fun. It'll be like exploring a haunted house, like for Halloween. Come on!" Spock protests half-heartedly as Jim leads him into the hotel, and look around what used to be the lobby in curiosity for a few moments, then Jim says,

"Come on, let's go further in."

"I do not think that is wise, Jim."

"Spock. It'll be fine."

So they go past the lobby and look around the rest of the first floor, which ends up being a mistake because Spock catches sight of three public commlinks outside the restrooms and Jim can't keep him away from them.

"Spock," he begins to protest, but Spock does not even appear to hear him as he tries the first commlink, to no avail. He moves to the second one and Jim says again, more forcefully,

"Spock!" He grabs Spock's wrist before he can smash frantically against the commlink's on button, and Spock looks sharply, wildly at him.

"Let go of me," he says, his voice low and wild and dangerous in a way Jim has never heard before, in a way that terrifies him but he doesn't let go.

"This is useless, Spock," Jim whispers, "You're going to make yourself insane with this. What good would it do? They're all broken, Spock. None of them will work!"

"I have to find out," Spock replies fervently, eyes darting between Jim's face and the commlink, "I have to know she is alive."

"She's not alive, Spock," Jim retorts, and Spock growls,

"_We_ are alive. If we can survive there is no reason why she cannot either."

"She's dead, Spock!" Jim shouts, "She's dead, your mother's dead just like my mother and Bones' mother and Nyota's mother and everyone else's mother! This is pointless, Spock, and you know it, and it's going to kill you and you know it!"

For a moment it seems like Spock is about to strike him, his other arm lifted in the beginnings of a blow and his features twisted in rage and anguish, and then something within him snaps and he lowers his hand, looks away, and whispers,

"I – I _loved_ my mother..."

"I know," Jim whispers, releasing Spock's wrist.

"You do not understand – I loved her, loved her more than any other being in this entire universe, and if she is dead..." He trailed off brokenly and managed in a hoarse whisper, "I never told her I loved her, never told her how precious she is to me."

"I'm sorry," Jim replies, looking away in sadness and shame because he although was fond of his mother but cannot bring himself to understand the depth of affection Spock is speaking of, and he was saddened when his mother died but not broken the way Spock seems to be. "I'm so sorry." Spock shakes his head almost imperceptibly, looking wistfully at the third commlink as if knowing he will not even try it. "Tell me about her."

"My mother was a teacher," Spock murmurs, "She... She lived in San Francisco, which is where she met my father where he was an ambassador. They were bonded for several years before I was born. She was..." He paused and looked again at the commlinks, then back at Jim. "Please, let us leave this place, Jim."

"All right," Jim replies, leading him away, towards the door through which they had entered. "Let's get the hell out of here."

* * *

When Leo finds Nyota she is sitting silently in the middle of the golf course, on a small rise overlooking a pit of sand, and she does not seem to notice him until he sits down next to her. She jumps at his presence and he frowns.

"Nyota," he says softly, "What's wrong? You've been so quiet and moody the past couple days and I can't stand it anymore. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replies quickly, too quickly, "Nothing, Leo. Just... Just drop it. Nothing's wrong."

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" he replies in a deadpan, and she chuckles bitterly.

"No, I'm not," she retorts, "That's not it."

"Please tell me," Leo whispers, and before she can stop him he leans in and kisses her and she pushes him away as fast as she can, jumps to her feet, but she knows the damage is done and she can't stop the tears that spring to her eyes because she knows that he has now unknowingly given himself a death sentence.

"Stop it!" she exclaims, her hysteria painful to her own ears, and Leo reaches for her unsuccessfully. "Stop it, Leo!"

"What the hell, Nyota?" he demands, getting to his feet, brows furrowed in confusion and hurt and anger, "What did I do? Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you," she chokes out, because her tears have become uncontrollable now and he reaches over to wipe her tears away and she shoves his hand back down before he can. "I'm not, Leo, please believe me, I'm not. I just... I just..."

"I don't know what to do, Nyota," he says, putting his hands behind his head and closing his hands into fists and pulling on his hair, "I don't know what you want me to do."

"I just..." she struggles, "I just want to be alone right now." Leo stares at her, completely at a loss for words, and she looks uncomfortably away and begins walking back to the SUV. "Let's just go, ok? Let's go." He opens his mouth a few times as if searching for words that will somehow fix everything that he knows to be ruined now, words that do not exist, then finally he sighs and murmurs in defeat,

"All right." He follows her out of the golf course, past the hotel, and into the parking lot.

When they approach the SUV there is the unmistakeable sound of a phaser rifle being cocked and Leo grabs Nyota by the arm and pulls her close to him in panic, looking about frantically to find a man dressed in a plastic jumpsuit, like the dead man in the pool, holding the offending phaser rifle at them barely thirty feet from the SUV.

"Who are you?" the man hisses from behind his helmet, taking slow careful steps towards them.

"We're just travelers passing through," Leo replies, eyes darting about in a panic, "We're not here to hurt anybody or do anything. We're just passing through."

"We'll see about that," the man spits through gritted teeth, and he holds a communicator up with one hand, the phaser rifle still pointed at them. "Captain Pike, we've got some intruders in the parking lot. Two, one male, one female."

"We've got two males, caught them exiting the building," comes a reply from the communicator and Leo looks away with a snarl, "We'll meet you in the parking lot."

A few moments later Jim and Spock arrive, each with a phaser rifle to their backs held by two more men in the same plastic suits. A third man is with them, holding yet another phaser rifle casually at his hip, walking behind the two men. Jim and Spock are shoved to stand next to Leo and Nyota, three rifles holding them in place as the man, presumably their leader, speaks in hushed tones with the man who caught Leo and Nyota.

"You hurt?" Bones says gruffly.

"No," Jim replies curtly.

"Shut up," one of the men in the plastic snaps at them, "No talking."

After a moment of conversing, the leader turns to them and says, "What are you doing here?"

"We're just passing through," Bones insists, "We're not infected. We didn't know there was anyone here. We're just passing through."

"Then why don't you tell me why one of my men is lying dead in the swimming pool?" the leader snarls.

"He was that way when we got here!" Bones protests, "I don't know who any of you are and I sure as hell wouldn't have killed one of your guys."

"I don't believe you," the leader retorts, "He couldn't have died from the disease. Not if he was one of us. One of you killed him."

"I'm telling you he was dead when we got here!"

"Shut up!" the leader shouts, "Shut up! I'm considering being nice and letting you go but if you don't shut the hell up I'll kill you all right here!" He sucks in a heavy breath, visibly calming himself, then eyes the group of four suspiciously. "Number One. Take the girl over there." He gestures to the sidewalk and a feminine voice responds,

"Yes, sir." One of the plastic-clothed figures presses their rifles against Nyota's back and pushes her forward onto the sidewalk – she stumbles a bit and looks back at Leo with panic evident in her eyes, and Leo glares at the leader figure but holds his tongue.

"And the blond one, too. You, pretty boy. Get up there." Jim glares daggers at the man but proudly and fearlessly swaggers up onto the sidewalk next to Nyota. They stand there for a moment, Nyota wringing her hands in anxiety and Jim standing straight and tall with a sneer on his face, meeting the leader's gaze unabashedly.

"Undress. Now," the leader says, and the followers glance quickly at him in surprise.

"No!" Leo shouts, rage twisting his features as lunges at the leader, who shoves him back with a kick to the gut, and he stumbles to the floor, writhing breathlessly at Spock's feet, and now there is a glare plastered to Spock's face as well but he remains silent.

"Please no," Nyota cries, beginning to sob.

"Undress or they both die," the leader snarls, lifting his rifle at Leo and Spock, and Nyota buries her face in her hands.

Jim seems to hesitate for a moment, then, with his mouth still twisted in a snarl, he pulls off his shirt in one fluid motion, kicks off his shoes and pulls off his socks. He straightens back up, his glare locked firmly on the leader, and then pulls off his pants and then his underwear. He gives a slight shiver in the sudden cold but otherwise stands firm and unafraid, proudly defiant in his nakedness.

He is completely nude and Nyota stands next to him completely clothed, sobbing with her face buried in her hands, and the leader demands,

"You too."

Finally, slowly, she starts with her shoes and socks, and her pants follow shortly after. She looks at Leo in desperation, and his face is mauled with anger and hatred and sheer helplessness as he meets her gaze desperately. Her hands hover with the hem of her shirt for a long moment, and then finally, with barely-choked back sobs, she pulls her shirt up over her head and lets it drop to the floor.

"Shit shit shit shitting fuck!" a man exclaims from behind Spock, stumbling backwards in panic, and the girl holding the rifle up at Jim takes several terrified steps back as well, as does Jim himself. Leo stumbles to his feet, mouth agape in shock, as the leader takes a step backwards and hisses,

"Not infected, huh?"

Nyota stands there crying, tears running down her face, but nobody notices because the only thing they can see is the mottled skin of infection winding and trailing from her navel to just below her collarbone.

"Get out of here," the leader growls, taking a few steps away, towards the hotel, "Get the hell out of here before you infect us all!" He and his men run back to the building and slowly Nyota begins to gather up her discarded clothing, pulling her shirt back on hastily, shamefully, and hesitantly she looks at Bones who is staring at her still with his eyes wide and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. He looks away and turns towards the SUV and mumbles to no one in particular,

"Get in the car. Let's go."

"Leonard, she is infected," Spock says, barely audible, next to him.

"I know that, Spock, so you can shut the hell up," he growls under his breath, and he steps towards the driver's side door. Spock looks back to see Jim pulling on his pants while hurrying towards the SUV, his gaze kept carefully away from Nyota, who fully clothes herself before walking slowly to the car.

In silence they drive away, back onto the freeway, and when it gets dark Bones pulls over and without being told, Nyota gets out and settles down in the far back of the SUV, away from everyone else.

"Walk with me," Bones says hoarsely to Jim, getting out of the car. Slowly Jim gets out too and follows him as he walks down the side of the freeway and they walk along together in silence for a few moments, then Bones whispers,

"She's infected." That much is obvious but Jim doesn't say anything and lets the older man talk. "She's infected and we can't save her. We have to leave her."

"I know," Jim replies softly, unable to look at his almost-brother.

"I can't leave her, Jim," Bones continues, his voice breaking with barely stifled sobs, "I can't leave her to die but we have to. I can't leave her here." Slowly Jim reaches out and touches Bone's shoulder and they stop walking as Bones begins to cry openly. "I can't leave her here. I can't, I can't, I can't!"

"I'm sorry," Jim whispers, because he has no idea what he can say to make things better somehow, "I know. I'm sorry." For a long moment Bones sobs silently, his face turned away from Jim as his shoulder trembles beneath the younger man's hand, and then he whispers,

"We know the rules. I know the rules. She's already dead." He says it several more times as if willing himself to believe it, and then murmurs, "We'll... We'll leave her someplace nice. Not here. Someplace comfortable for her. Not here. Not here."

"Okay," Jim agrees softly, "Okay. It's okay." It's not okay and it will never be okay but what else can he say? What else is there to be said?

* * *

"Spock?" Nyota's voice comes faintly from behind Spock but he hears it clearly.

"Yes, Nyota?" he replies softly, pulling his blankets closer about him.

"I'm sorry." She can barely whisper and he can tell she is on the verge of tears. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Of course you did not," Spock answers gently, "No one blames you."

"I'm so sorry. I really am. I'm so sorry."

"I know, Nyota. But there is nothing to be sorry for."

They are silent for thirty-two seconds before Nyota's voice comes softly again through the darkness.

"Spock?"

"Yes, Nyota?"

"I'm scared."

Spock does not know how to answer to that. Somewhere deep down he is scared too. If she is infected, how easy it would be for the others to be infected. He does not say anything.

"I don't want to die, Spock."

Again he cannot bring himself to reply. Of course she does not want to die – no one wants to die, especially not the horrific painful death that eighty-nine percent of the Earth's population has already succumbed to. Her words are not surprising or profound but Spock finds himself unable to formulate a response. And when he hears her begin to cry from the far back, still he cannot find words that would not make her cry harder.

He is also scared. He also does not want to die. It is not his decision to make, but he knows that if they are going to live, she is going to have to be left behind, and he knows she knows it too and he is fairly certain that this, also, is her unspoken fear, the true reason behind her tears.

* * *

It has been two days since they have left the hotel and Nyota has been dutifully wearing her mask and sitting exclusively in the far back of the SUV. Jim has been sitting in the backseat with Spock because he knows Bones needs his space right now, and no one's said much of anything to anyone in the two days since they left the hotel.

It's been two days and when Bones sees a little gas station on the side of the freeway he mumbles,

"Might be water. Or food. We should check."

"Yeah," Jim agrees, and Bones gets off the freeway and pulls into the gas station. It's a small, mom-and-pop kind of gas station and all the gas nozzles are pulled out from the self-serve stations, several of which are falling apart. There is a message spray-painted on the side wall of the gas station, the side that faces away from the freeway, that reads in large red capital letters, "BOBBY: MOM + DAD R DEAD IM GOING 2 UNCLE JOHNNY'S PLS CONTACT ME ASAP -DAISY". Bones sighs heavily, resting his head on the steering wheel, before getting out of the car while pulling on his mask and a pair of gloves, Jim and Spock following him silently. They gather their empty fuel-water jugs and begin to scour the outside of the building and when Bones finds a tell-tale water nozzle he calls out,

"Over here." He turns it on and after a moment of rumbling, clean, clear water starts gushing out and he stares in shock for a brief moment before he comes to his senses and starts filling the empty jug in his hand and when it's full he leans down and experimentally takes a sip of the still-flowing water and is shocked, because somehow the water's still cleanly running here and he has no idea how that's possible but it is. Jim and Spock join him and fill the containers they're carrying with the blessedly clean water and Bones goes back to the SUV and grabs some of their empty drinking-water containers and fills them too, then heads into the inside of the gas station to see if there's any food. The building has been scavenged and so there's nothing left but empty shelves and a busted credit register, but it's fairly clean as far as abandoned buildings go and it even looks like the electricity might still work which is just as miraculous as the water.

Jim walks into the building and hesitantly approaches him.

"No food?" he asks softly, and Bones replies,

"No."

They are silent for a long while, then Bones says hoarsely, "This is... This is a nice place."

"Yeah." Jim knows what Bones is going to say next but the older man seems unable to speak. Again they lapse into silence, Jim watching Bones guardedly as he stares, brows furrowed, blankly at the broken credit register, his mind elsewhere.

"We have to leave her," he finally manages to murmur, "We have to."

"I know."

"And this place isn't so bad."

"Yeah."

"It's not a bad thing, right? If we leave her here?"

Jim's heart is breaking from the tone of Bones' voice and he forces himself to reply, "Of course not. It's better than leaving her with those people at the hotel, or on the freeway. It's better than that." Bones scrubs at his eyes and chokes,

"Okay. Okay."

He stands there for a long moment, his hands over his eyes, and Jim peers uncertainly at him until finally he lowers his hands and looks up at the ceiling with a heavy sigh, his eyes still red and damp with tears that have not fallen but are still there. He composes himself visibly, then turns to Jim and murmurs,

"All right. Let's get going."

They exit the building and head towards the SUV, Bones walking purposefully the way he always does when he has to do something he doesn't want to, Jim following him closely. As they approach, Spock is organizing some of their stuff in the backseat, attempting to reduce the clutter rather unsuccessfully, and Nyota is sitting in the back the way she has been all day. Jim goes to stand next to Spock, not wanting to get involved with what is sure to become an unpleasant situation but still wanting to be close enough for moral support at least. Bones stops in front of the tailgate, sucks in a heavy breath, adjusts his mask and gloves and then reaches over and opens it. Nyota looks at him in surprise as he wordlessly takes her duffel bag of belongings and sets them on the ground.

"What are you doing, Leo?" she asks faintly, in a tone that suggests that she knows perfectly well what he is doing. He pauses, looks at her, his eyes tight, then says hoarsely,

"Get out."

Nyota's face crumbles in despair as he begins unloading a blanket and pillow and she begs,

"Leo, please, please don't do this."

"I said get out," he replies, his voice faint, and he takes her by the arm and pulls her out of the car where she stumbles to her feet and backs away as he closes the tailgate.

"Leo!" she begs.

"It's nice and cool in that building," he says, gesturing towards the gas station, "The water in the building works and it's clean water too. It'll be... It'll be easy to make yourself comfortable."

"Please, Leo," she says, tears falling freely now, and he turns away and steps towards the car and Jim and Spock take their seats in silent understanding. She chases after him desperately, grabbing his hand as he moves to open the driver's side door and he shakes her off. "Don't do this," she begs, "Leo, I love you. I love you!"

"You don't understand!" Bones shouts, her words driving him to his breaking point, "Can't you see? I love you, I love you more than anything, but I have a responsibility and I have to follow my own rules. For God's sake don't make this any harder than it has to be. Please. Please!" And he gets quickly into the car and she stands there crying, and as they pull out into the street she begins chasing after the car, sobbing and crying out after them,

"Leo! _Leo!_"

Bones speeds up and before long she is no longer visible in the rearview mirrors. They keep going for maybe another mile and then Bones pulls over, turns off the car, and hunches over the steering wheel with his head in his hands and he begins to weep.

"Oh, God, Nyota," he gasps into his palms, "Oh my God. Oh my _God_." Slowly Jim reaches over, touches his shoulder, and asks gently,

"Do you want me to drive?" A few more sobs escape Bones' lips before he manages to choke out,

"No. No, I can do it."

"Okay," Jim murmurs, backing away, "Okay. I'm going to sit in the back with Spock." Because now more than ever Bones just needs space, which is hard to give when they are stuck in a car together but he's going to at least try because for Bones, he'd do anything. He climbs into the back next to Spock who looks somberly at him, and Jim's heart wrenches because it's not the same without Nyota. Gently Spock reaches out and touches his fingers and Jim can feel his sorrow and sympathy, knows that Spock hurts not only for himself but for Bones who is Leonard in Spock's mind, and the words _I grieve with thee_ float between the contact of their fingers, and Jim closes his eyes. He's not sure what Spock is feeling from him but their touch lingers for a moment longer, then slowly Spock takes his hand away and places it back in his lap, clasping his other hand, and Jim looks away, out the window.

After a little while, Bones' sobs fade away, and after a little while longer he sits back up, starts the car, and they continue silently down the crumbling freeway under the same gray, cloudy sky.


	3. Part Three: The House

Part Three: The House

Jim barely even remembers what life was like before. Sometimes he wonders if there ever even was a before, because sometimes it feels like the paranoia and fear is all he has ever known. He remembers vague ideas from the time before the disease – remembers he joined Starfleet at Bones' demands, because that's where he was going after his divorce and Jim was wasting his life away and Bones knew it. Remembers when he realized he wanted to be a Starship captain in spite of the shadow of his dead father looming over that ambition. Remembers how he managed to wheedle himself onto Spock's good side even though he beat the Kobayashi Maru which no one was supposed to beat.

Even further back than Starfleet he remembers growing up with Bones, who was always there, if not physically then just a quick comm away. He remembers going to the beach in Georgia most vividly, which is why he and Bones decided to go there in the first place. He remembers once when he was maybe eight or nine, he and Bones spent an entire day building the biggest sandcastle they possibly could and they returned triumphantly to their beach house with their faces and shoulders and backs bright red with sunburn, and when they went out the next day the sandcastle had crumbled but their sunburns lasted for weeks. He remembers one summer evening when he was older, sixteen or seventeen, walking with Bones along the shore when he told Jim with a real and honest smile that he was going to get married, then a few years later walking the beach and Bones somberly telling him he was getting divorced.

For a long time Bones was everything. That's what Jim remembers most about before – that Bones was closer to him than his own brother, was what a brother should be and more, that Bones was the most important person in Jim's world. That's the only thing worth remembering about before.

Because nothing else about before matters. The only thing that matters is right now, and right now they are still driving silently down the freeway with Bones up front and Jim and Spock in the back. Jim wonders if he and Spock will ever be as close as he and Bones, because now Bones is "brother" and Spock is "best friend" and he wonders if that means anything. They've run out of beer and so Jim is forced to sip on a jug of water instead of a beer bottle as he stares pensively out the window, which isn't nearly as relaxing but he needs something to preoccupy his mouth with or he'll start biting his nails which he does when he gets anxious and if there's anything he's been the past couple of days it's anxious.

Bones has been almost completely silent the past few days. Jim and Spock have spoken little more but have communicated with slight touches to convey simple thoughts, mostly out of courtesy for Bones who seems to relax easier into the silence. Honestly Jim doesn't know how much longer Bones can hold out because he's already at his breaking point and they're running low on food, like really low and it's not good, which is only going to stress Bones out even more so Jim knows he's going to end up snapping soon and he doesn't know if it'll be a problem or a relief when he does.

It's not long before they stop one night to sleep and Bones mumbles, "We need food."

"Yeah," Jim says slowly, "We do." Bones is silent for a moment, then starts the car up again and swings it around so that the car is sitting perpendicular to the freeway in the middle of the two-lane road, in a position much like the one they originally found the car to be in.

"No one's going to help us," Jim says slowly.

"We have to try," Bones replies tonelessly, and reclines his seat back to sleep. Jim glances hesitantly at Spock who stares back silently, understanding his worry, but he says nothing and instead brushes lightly against Jim's hand and a wave of calm surges through the contact. It isn't much but Jim appreciates the sentiment and after a little while they fall asleep next to each other.

They don't leave in the morning and instead sit around in the car for a couple hours until something happens.

It's the early afternoon, maybe one o'clock, when they catch sight of another car approaching them from the other side of the freeway. It's a little dark blue car that cautiously slows to a stop a good distance away from them.

"Let me handle this," Jim says before Bones can get out of the car, and he silently acquiesces. Jim dons his homoerotic love machine mask and climbs out of the SUV and approaches the stopped car slowly, holding his hands up to show he is unarmed. The driver in the car – he is the lone inhabitant – peers uncertainly and distrustfully at him, and Jim doesn't blame him. The driver lowers his window slightly when Jim is about halfway there and says loudly,

"Stop right there."

Jim stops, hands still held up, and says evenly, "I'm not infected, I promise."

"What do you want?"

"I just need some food," Jim replies, keeping his gaze locked on the man's eyes, "There's three of us and we're almost out of food. If you have any you can spare, even just a couple cans of something, anything, you'd be helping us out a lot." The man glanced about anxiously for a moment before starting his car again and replying,

"I can't help you." Jim sighs and starts to turn around when Bones jumps out of the car, phaser in hand, roaring,

"_Lying son-of-a-bitch I can see the fucking food in your fucking car you greedy asshole!_"

"What the hell, Bones?" Jim exclaims, jumping at the snarling older man but he's not fast enough, Bones has already fired at the windshield of the car as it's squealing backwards. "Bones, stop! What the hell are you thinking?"

The man in the car lowers his window, brandishing his own phaser, and Jim leaps to the ground as it goes off, missing the both of them by a considerable margin. He fires again, panic plastered on his face, and at the same time Bones fires for a second time. An instant later he's on the ground writhing and screaming and holding his leg, his phaser forgotten next to him, and Jim crawls over to him.

"You stupid dumbass!" Jim growls even as he is turning Bones to lie on his back with his head in Jim's lap, "You stupid fucking asshole, what the fuck were you thinking, you could have gotten us killed!"

He does not realize the phaser fire has stopped until Spock is there kneeling next to him and he looks up and sees the driver hanging dead out of his window, his phaser on the ground next to the car. Spock inspects the bleeding wound in Bones' leg, one hand pressed to the doctor's forehead, and murmurs slowly,

"He has severe nerve and tissue damage. He is not bleeding at a dangerous level, however."

"I'm a doctor," Bones growls laboriously through gritted teeth, "I think I can diagnose myself, thank you."

"Shut your goddamn mouth, Bones," Jim snaps as Spock begins lifting him to his feet, "If you had just stayed where you were and let me handle this none of this would have happened!"

"You're too damn soft," Bones spat, and Jim's features twist in rage.

"You just killed an innocent man!" he shouts, gesturing at the car and the dead man, "He didn't do anything and you killed him!"

"You think you're so high and mighty?" Bones replies, snarling, "You think you're so wonderful? I'll tell you something, _Jimmy_, if it weren't for me you'd be dead right now, you'd have been dead for a long time. You can't survive without me. You're too fucking soft to be living in a world like this and the only reason you're still alive is because of _me_. You think you're so tough but you're not the one who has to make the decisions of letting someone live or die, you're not the one who has to worry about keeping all the others alive, you're not the one who had to go up there that morning and take that phaser and tell her we'd be back soon. You're not the one who's had to lie and steal and kill to stay alive. You're the fucking princess who has everything handed to them so don't you dare try and lecture me about _morals!_"

"You said she was dead," Jim said faintly, feeling suddenly as though he had been kicked in the gut, "You said... You said mom was dead! She was alive and you left her!"

"You wouldn't have left any other way, it was the only way to keep you alive. She was dying and you wouldn't see that," Bones growls back.

"_My mother was alive, you fucking asshole!_" Jim roars, features twisting in fury and pain and he lifts his hand as if he is about to strike the older man who is being held up by Spock who then says, softly but surely,

"Jim. Stop."

Jim's hand hovers in the air for a moment as he stares down at Bones, lips curled back and brows furrowed over wild eyes, then he lets his hand drop limply to his side and he turns away and leans against the SUV, covering his face with his hands.

"I can't believe this," he whispers faintly, voice choked, "I can't believe you." The three are silent for a moment, then Bones says softly to Spock,

"Lie me down in the backseat. I gotta stop the bleeding." Spock complies silently, carrying him around to the other side of the car to leave Jim as alone as possible. For what feels like eternity Jim stares out blankly at the car of the dead man amidst the noise of Spock clearing the backseat and lying Bones down who is groaning faintly at intervals in pain and mumbling instructions in between.

When the doctor is settled into the backseat, Spock returns and says to Jim,

"The doctor was correct in that there is food in the car." Jim sighs and mutters faintly,

"Then we better get it."

Silently they go through the dead man's car, taking all the food and water and blankets they come across, leaving it nearly empty save for the man's body and a few trinkets that are of no practical use to them. They push the car out of the road and then head back to the SUV.

"I'll drive," Jim mutters, climbing into the driver's seat, and Spock silently acknowledges this and gets into the passenger seat. Bones is breathing heavily, laboriously, in the backseat behind them, but Jim pays him no attention and Bones does not demand any, and so Jim starts the car and they head down the freeway once more.

* * *

The next day Bones is worse, face flushed and covered in sweat with faint whimpers and moans coming from his lips with every exhalation.

"I think it's infected," he manages to groan when Jim and Spock check on him in the morning. They exchange worried glances and Spock says,

"I do not believe we are in possession of any medical supplies that would aide you, Leonard."

"We just need some kind of disinfectant," Jim says, "Like hydrogen peroxide or something, right?"

"It'd help," Bones replies faintly, and Jim nods slowly. In spite of his previous fury, he can't bring himself to be mad at him anymore. He and Spock help make Bones as comfortable as possible before closing the door and stepping aside, away from the car.

"What should we do?" Jim asks softly, brows furrowed, "I don't know what to do, Spock."

"I believe the best course of action to obtain the supplies necessary for Leonard's survival is to get off the freeway at the next possible city to search for supplies," Spock replies evenly, "A drugstore would be preferable, but even an abandoned home would likely have the medical supplies we need."

"All right," Jim sighs, "He won't like that we're breaking the rules, but all right."

"On the contrary," Spock says, "I believe that he will not mind our rule-breaking, as it is in the interest of the preservation of his life. To argue against such an act would be illogical." Jim chuckles dryly, shaking his head.

"Yeah, well. I would've thought by now you'd know us humans aren't exactly the most logical of beings," he replies, and they get back into the car and head out again.

It is not long before they come across a small town on the side of the freeway and Jim gets off on the next exit, looking around as they drive through the city streets, paying no mind to anything but the stores along the road because there's nothing else to pay attention to – the stoplights are all dead and there are no cars on the streets and no people on the sidewalks.

In the span of half an hour they come across two drugstores and Jim checks them out cautiously, alone in spite of Spock's protests that he should not go by himself. Neither of the stores have anything of use and when Jim comes back the second time empty-handed he says,

"Let's try a residential area." Spock looks hesitant but replies slowly,

"All right." They turn down a few streets to find a row of houses and Jim skips over a few that look completely derelict and torn apart. A few more turns deeper into the residential area and they come across a small coul-de-sac of houses that look relatively untouched. Jim parks the SUV in the driveway to the first one, a plain brown home with wooden doors and a shingled roof.

"Be careful," Spock warns as Jim pulls on his gloves and his homoerotic love machine mask, "It is much more likely that you will come across infected corpses or even living people now that we are invading people's homes." Jim nodded slowly, and retrieved the phaser from the glove compartment and Spock nods once approvingly.

"Keep an eye on him," Jim says, gesturing towards Bones in the back who is sleeping lightly with a strained expression on his face. Spock nods, staring intently at Jim as he gets out of the car and approaches the house.

Jim checks the front door first. It's locked, unsurprisingly, and he gives it a few experimental kicks but the wooden door is pretty strong, surprisingly, and he doesn't want to destroy anything if he can help it so he goes around to the back, climbing easily over the fence. There's a plexiglass sliding door in the back but it's locked and kicking it doesn't do anything either and so he checks the windows. There are four and three of them are locked and he's about to give up when the fourth one slides easily out of the way and he clambers through.

It looks like he's in the kitchen and he pokes around for a bit before finding a bathroom down the hallway. Shuffling through the medicine cabinet and the cupboard under the sink only rewards him with a half-full box of Band-Aids and a bottle of ibuprofen that's almost completely full, which is useless to Spock, who isn't affected by it because he's Vulcan, and Jim himself, because he's allergic, but it might help Bones a little so he takes that with him too. He finds nothing else of use and, after going down another hallway, finds a stairway and he cautiously goes upstairs.

The upper floor is just a small hallway with only two rooms. He enters the room on the left and it looks like it used to be used as an office, if the pile of PADDs on the desk are any indication. There's a wooden bookshelf on the other end of the wall with actual paper books on display, which is surprising but also useless. Again he finds nothing of use and moves on to the room on the right.

Before he can open the closed door he hears a noise coming from behind the door and his breath hitches in surprise and terror.

"Hello?" he says cautiously. There is no reply but he hears another noise, like the rustling of bedsheets. His heart hammers in his chest for a moment and for a split second he wants nothing more than to turn back and get the hell out of this house, but then he remembers Bones lying helplessly in the backseat in agony and, taking in a heavy, trembling breath and firming his grasp on the phaser, he slowly opens the door.

It was bedsheets that were rustling but it wasn't a person – the only person on the bed is definitely dead, lying there with mottled skin stretched taut over a skeleton of a man. The rustling noise is from the dog lying next to the dead man and it gets to its feet with a snarl and Jim realizes that _oh shit it's a Doberman_ and the dog leaps at him, teeth bared, and Jim fires the phaser in panic and the dog hurls into him, throwing him to the ground and knocking the breath out of him but it doesn't bite him which means he killed it before it could kill him. He lies there for a moment breathlessly, adrenalin pounding through his veins with every frantic heartbeat, then manages to push the dog off him. He realizes he's absolutely covered in dog blood but there's nothing he can do about it and it doesn't matter, the only way he could get infected was through human blood.

He realizes he's in the master bedroom and that means that there's a master bathroom nearby and he goes through another door on the other side of the room and it's a bathroom. He goes through every drawer, every cabinet, and comes away with a bottle of isopropyl alcohol which is exactly what he needs, and also a box of disposable razors that only has three razors in it but he clutches it gleefully because he can't even remember the last time he shaved and while he doesn't mind stubble it's starting to become a full-on beard, which is something he's less fond of. He also finds a small first-aid kit but there's nothing much of use in it except for some medical tape and a roll of cloth bandages, both of which he takes as well.

He inspects the house one last time and then goes out through the front door which unlocks easily from the inside. When he emerges from the house onto the driveway, Spock looks at him with visible shock and says apprehensively,

"Jim, you are covered in blood."

"Dog blood," Jim reassures him as he pulls down his mask, realizing just how gruesome he must look, "Don't worry, nothing bad happened. Just a dog." Spock eyes him worriedly but nods and responds,

"What have you found?"

"Well, I got some isopropyl alcohol which will help Bones a bit," he says, setting down his haul on the sidewalk, "Some painkillers for him too. Some more bandages and medical tape, and a box of Band-Aids but I don't think that'll be much use." He gestures towards the box of disposable razors. "I found those too. I figured I ought to take them since it's been a while since we've had a shave and I know you hate having facial hair, so..." He trails off, unsure where he was going with that train of thought, and Spock glances at him and says sincerely,

"Thank you." Jim smiles crookedly, uncertainly, and replies,

"No problem. I'm desperate for a shave too." He gives a dry chuckle and continues, "Come on. Let's get Bones. Bring him out and have him stand up against the car."

Spock carries Bones, who is now awake and grumbling, out of the car and props him up against the back of the SUV. He stands with all his weight on his uninjured leg as Jim soaks a towel in the isopropyl alcohol.

"You doing okay?" he asks.

"I feel like shit," Bones mumbles.

"That's what I thought," Jim sighs, smiling half-heartedly. He kneels down in front of Bones. "Now don't think I'm getting frisky with you, but I'm gonna have to take your pants off." Bones rolls his eyes and mutters,

"Don't flatter yourself."

Jim fumbles with the button of Bones' jeans and finally the older man reaches down and unbuttons them himself. "Need me to unzip them too? I woulda thought you had plenty of experience doing this," he grumbles, and Jim sighs.

"I think I can do the rest myself, thanks," he replies dryly, "Okay. This is gonna hurt." He starts pulling his pants down slowly and Bones hisses and winces as the denim is peeled away from his wound. Jim carefully gets the waistband of his jeans past his black boxers and down to his knees and is inspecting his wound carefully when he glances at Bones' other leg.

"_Shit_," he hisses, recoiling instinctively away, stumbling backwards with his eyes wide.

"What?" Bones says, startled, and he looks down. His face drains of all color and his eyes are fixed on the mottled purple skin snaking from below his knee to up beneath the black fabric of his boxers, and slowly, anxiously, Jim pulls his mask back up over his nose and mouth and forces himself to look away. Spock takes a step away from Bones instinctively, then seems to hesitate and then takes a step closer to Jim, gazing warily at the doctor, who has slowly looked away and up at the sky, eyes closed and his lower lip between his teeth.

"Sorry," Jim mumbles faintly, nervously holding up the alcohol-soaked towel, "This is... This is gonna hurt." He begins dabbing at the wound and Bones starts to cry and by the time Jim is done, wrapping the bandages back around the wound, he's full-out sobbing with his head in his hands.

"Come on," Jim says desperately, "It didn't hurt that bad, did it? It didn't hurt that bad."

"No," Bones replies between gasps, "No, it didn't hurt." His voice is overtaken by wordless sobs and Jim looks away, then up at Spock.

"Get your mask and gloves on," he says slowly, softly, "Let's get him back in the car."

"...All right," Spock replies after a moment, and goes back to the car to open the door, leaving Bones leaning against the SUV with his hands covering his face, Jim kneeling in front of him with his head bowed and his hands clenched at his sides.

* * *

They continue on for another two days, acting as normally as possible. Jim and Spock remain in the front with their masks on while Bones lies in the back seat under a blanket, sleeping fitfully most of the day with a continual sheen of sweat on his face. In spite of what they have done for him his condition does not improve, and if anything declines, much to Jim's distress.

On the evening of the second day Jim pulls over about an hour after sundown and gets out of the car to get some food from the back and, surprisingly, Spock gets out with him.

"I wish to speak with you," Spock says softly as they walk to the back of the car. Jim reaches over to open the back and Spock stops him, putting his hand over Jim's, and Jim glances sharply, questioningly at him, and Spock stares back. "I do not wish for Leonard to hear."

"...All right," Jim acquiesces, lowering his hand, staring at Spock. The Vulcan seems to gather his thoughts, quickly glancing away and glancing back.

"Leonard is dying," he says finally, softly, and Jim looks away, pain flashing in his eyes, "I understand that this is something you do not wish to acknowledge. But he is dying and he is infected. Every hour that he remains with us only increases our risk for infection."

"I know," Jim murmurs, closing his eyes, "God, Spock, trust me. I know." Spock is silent as Jim sucks in an unsteady breath and continues desperately, "But it's _Bones_, Spock, I can't – he's my best friend, Spock, he's my _brother_, I can't just... I can't just leave him behind." He covers his face with one hand in despair.

"We must leave him behind," Spock replies gently, brows furrowing.

"I know. It's the rules. I know."

They are silent for a long moment before Jim sighs and looks back at Spock.

"Let's have a campfire," he says simply. "Over there a bit. We can cook some of those canned beans or whatever." Spock quirks an eyebrow but replies simply,

"All right."

They start a small fire about thirty feet from where the car is pulled over, then they go back to the car to retrieve Bones.

"Don't wanna get up," the older man groans as they lift him out of the car, masks and gloves on, but they sit him down in front of the fire and he pulls his blanket closer around himself and doesn't complain. Jim and Spock sit down across from him and share a can of baked beans heated over the fire and even though Spock is perfectly warm Jim reaches over and touches his hand. Spock looks at him questioningly and then a torrent of sorrow and pain filters through the link of their hands and Jim whispers, "I wish I didn't have to do this."

"I grieve with thee," Spock murmurs, gently squeezing the younger man's hand as he presses his forehead into the Vulcan's shoulder and Spock leans slightly into the contact.

"Jim," Bones says suddenly, voice hoarse, pulling them away from each other, "Jim."

"I'm right here, Bones," Jim replies, voice unsteady.

"I'm sorry," Bones rasps, "I'm sorry about your mom."

"I know," Jim replies softly, looking at the ground, "I know. It's okay. It doesn't matter now."

"I'm real sorry," Bones continues, "But she was dying and I didn't want you to die. Didn't want you to die..." Jim closes his eyes and leans closer to Spock and Spock does not move away.

They sit there for maybe half an hour, then when it looks like Bones is asleep Spock says in a normal voice,

"Leonard."

He doesn't respond and Spock glances at Jim, who bears an expression of pain beyond anything Spock has ever seen before and his heart wrenches and only aches further when Jim says softly,

"I guess we should get going."

They stand up quietly and walk past Bones and are halfway to the SUV when suddenly Bones' voice comes from behind them,

"Where're you going?" Jim stops dead and turns around and hesitantly Spock follows suit. Bones has struggled to his feet, his blanket fallen to the ground, forgotten, and he stumbles a few steps towards them.

"Don't, Bones," Jim says, taking a step back and pulling his phaser from his back pocket, which surprises Spock, who hadn't realized it was there. Bones seems not to hear him and takes another faltering step towards them.

"Tryin' to leave me?" he asks hoarsely, his Southern drawl suddenly stronger, more accentuated, "You can't do that. You wouldn't. You need me."

"Bones, please," Jim continues desperately, holding the phaser up so Bones can see it, "Please. Please don't."

"You can't leave me!" Bones says, suddenly forceful, and Spock takes a step closer to Jim protectively, "I'm a doctor. Doctors aren't supposed to die. I don't wanna die – I'm not gonna die! You can't leave me, you need me!"

"Get away from me," Jim breathes, features twisting as his eyes dampen, "Please don't make me do this, Bones. I'm begging you don't make me do this."

"_You need me_," Bones gasps, taking another step forward and reaching out his hand with a desperate, pleading expression, mere feet away from a trembling Jim.

"I'm sorry," Jim chokes out, and he fires the phaser and Bones falls silently to the ground. For a long moment they are all completely still, Jim staring down with a look of shock and agony, and then he lets the phaser drop and he begins to sob, burying his face in his hands and Spock grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him close as he cries out,

"Oh God Bones I'm sorry I'm so sorry, please oh God _Bones!_" His sobs trail off into wordless cries and Spock does not know what else to do so he does all that he can – he holds Jim close to him as he weeps into his shoulder, hands clutching at the fabric of his jacket, and even though the fire continues to crackle before them it suddenly feels as though there is no more warmth to be found anywhere in the world.


	4. Part Four: The Coast

**A/N:** This is the fourth and final chapter. Thanks for reading!

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Part Four: The Coast

In the morning they silently bury Bones' body next to the dying campfire, silently stand staring at the mound of earth for what feels like forever, and silently get back into the car and drive away.

One week and four days later they make it to the little beach on the coast of Georgia that they have been working so hard to get to.

Jim drives the SUV right up close to the shore, the tires spraying sand in their path, and for a long while after he turns the car off he sits motionless, staring into the surf where the waves of the ocean, brown-blue after centuries of oil pollution, rise up to the shore and fall back again endlessly the way he remembers from so many moments of his childhood and adolescence. But it's not the same. It will never be the same.

After a little while they get out of the car and start walking silently, aimlessly. It's a bit hard to walk in the sand at first, it takes some getting used to, but then they adjust to the difference and keep going. Spock keeps pace with him easily and they keep walking along the strand until they come across a small shack with a sign proclaiming "FRESH CAUGHT CRABS 5 CREDITS EACH". It's abandoned and silent and they go in and for a long while Jim stands in the middle of the small building and just looks, looks at the crumbling walls, the floor littered with palm fronds and sand and tiny seashells, the blue tile counter tops. It is all so familiar and so very, very foreign. Spock stands in the doorway and waits and when Jim has had enough of the shack he walks back over to Spock and wordlessly they walk back to the SUV.

They open the tailgate and sit in the back for a while, simply watching the endless, undying motion of the waves lapping at the shore before them. The sun begins to set, painting the sky into a rainbow of colors streaming with light, and when the sun finally slips below the horizon, leaving a burning red sky in its wake, Jim looks at Spock, sighs, and speaks the first words to have been exchanged all day.

"I always thought..." he begins slowly, "I always thought that when we got here it'd mean the end to our problems. That somehow by getting here it would mean that everything would be okay, that if we could just stay here and wait that things would somehow work out. That it would be... the four of us, working together, helping each other... and somehow that would make things okay. But now..." He pauses, his eyes brimming with tears but he does not look away. "But now I've realized it's not making our problems go away, it's only the beginning. Nothing is okay, Spock, not anymore."

"Often in our hope we glorify things far beyond their true worth," Spock replies softly, steadily meeting the other man's gaze. "Things may work out yet. You must give it time."

"I'm scared," Jim says softly, "I don't know how we're going to do this. I don't know how we're going to get enough food or enough water, we never thought – we never really thought we'd get this far. Really we didn't, but..."

"I understand," Spock says simply, and Jim looks away, out to the horizon and the ocean and the sky which is fading from red to purple to blue and the stars are beginning to twinkle faintly, like a sheet spread out above them.

A little more time passes quietly and then Jim says softly,

"You know, you're probably going to be the only one out of the four of us who'll make it out alive."

"I do not understand."

"You don't need to be here. You never needed to be with us. I'm sure that somewhere there's a colony, a group of non-Humans who were stuck here too, waiting it out, knowing that they'll be saved eventually. You could have gone with them. You never needed to be here. You never needed to be with me."

"I have always needed to be with you," Spock replies evenly, and Jim scrubs at his eyes.

"You know I'm probably going to die out here," he says after a moment, laughing bitterly, "I'm probably already infected. I'm going to die out here, Spock, and you'll have wasted all your time on a group of stupid Terrans who all died." Spock cannot bring himself to reply to this – what could he say that would make things different? He gathers his thoughts and slowly, carefully, honestly replies,

"I have had no other reason to live outside of our group. As long as you are still alive, Jim, I will remain. When you go, so too shall I."

"Thanks," Jim whispers, reaching out to grip Spock's hand, "Thanks." He takes a deep breath. "We're just... We're just gonna have to make this work, make the best of it, won't we?"

"Indeed," Spock replies.

"We're alive," Jim says, "We're alive. And that's a reason enough to keep going."

Jim knows the future is a terrifying thing, knows the world is a terrifying place. He knows that tomorrow is not a promise and that death is at some point a certainty. He knows that hope is futile in the end and that salvation is doubtful at best and that the only thing one can rely upon is oneself. He looks up into the night sky, at the shimmering sheet of stars above them – he can name nearly all of them, and can remember how badly he once wanted to go and travel among them, but that was another life. Another him. Nothing matters but right now, because right now is the only thing he has. He and Spock and this moment, _this instant here and none other_, these are the only certainties in his entire universe.

And for right now, for this instant, he is alive. They are alive. Their hearts are beating, their lungs are breathing, their brains are sending brainwaves out to race up and down their synapses. They might be the only two left on the entire doomed little planet but they are _alive_. They don't have a clear reason to live but maybe being alive is reason enough.

Jim knows all this as he looks out at the stars he has always longed for, the stars he knows he will never touch. He knows all this, but somehow, right now, with the cold beach breeze teasing his hair and the tang of saltwater filling his nostrils and Spock's warm presence sitting next to him, somehow – he's okay with it. It's bearable. Tomorrow may bring death or it may bring life, but for this moment, this instant, this right now – and now –_ and now _– they're alive, and that makes everything all right.


End file.
